Intro: I write this now after many years of trying to keep it secret from the world, although everybody knew. I was afraid to tell my story because I saw it as weakness and humiliation and thought that because I had it, I could not be seen or defined by anything else.
Why I’m writing this: I struggled and wrestled with writing this for many years because I didn’t want to look upon myself. However, after many years of pursuit of the Lord Jesus Christ and a spot-on revelation of who I am by God to a spiritual person in an online forum, I have realized that God has called me to help those who struggle from the same mental disorder as I do in an informal setting. So, I am using my blog, which I intended to use to write about things that I commonly think about (and will continue to do), to also help anyone who suffers from this cerebral pest and gremlin find hope in the Lord Jesus Christ.
Where it began: My longtime former physician, Dr. Stephanie, said OCD was genetic and although I don’t remember where exactly it started, I do remember a very small amount from my childhood in California to give a probable start time.
The first instance is when I was in preschool in San Francisco and my mom and dad came to pick me up afterwards. It was just like any other day (as far as I remember), but they also came to tell me they were getting a divorce and that none of what was happening was my fault. I didn’t understand what was going on at the time, but I felt like since things were changing, I had to change something because I had no control.
The second instance was when there was a field trip to Oakland. I don’t remember what we were there for, but I do remember leaving the place and some kid who was there said the old superstition to another kid, “Step on a crack, break your mother’s back.” I don’t believe that now, but you can see how being young and susceptible can make it easy to be fooled.
What I’ll write about next will be about my daily struggles with OCD.
Mind@Work 
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